This one goes out to all you ladies out there patiently preparing your mind body and spirit to meet the baby that you have been working so hard to grow and nourish in your womb! I see you and I bless you on your work!
It does seem like a lot doesn’t it?! Plus laboring mom that’s five people right there! It feels like too many to be watching you push a head that feels SO big, right out of you. I know, and it might be if everyone stayed there staring at you the whole time. But while your working your baby down and out, theres all of labor to go through beforehand. Though everyone will be there at the very end, I promise, you won’t care!
Let’s break it down. First of all, you should know that your doctor plans to only be in the room with you for the very last moments of your birth. Like, once they can see the head, they will be there with you and stay until the birth of the placenta. And then they are saying, “Congratulations!” and are out the door. Its not that they dont care about you, its just that they don’t want to be a disruption. So they do their work and wait to be summoned by the nurses. At the very end, it’s very exciting, you can feel how close you are and the doctor flies in like a burst of light! They catch your beautiful baby and then is gone to let you mask in the glow of the sweetest baby you have ever seen!
The nurses are in and out of the room. There’s no way to tell who you will get, and shifts change whether you want them to or not. They are smiling at you while they monitor you and the baby. They do vitals, listening to the babies heartrate and charting everything. If you need ice chips or more pillows, they will be happy to grab them for you. They are so sweet but usually have other moms to help too.
Your partner is your rock. They arent leaving your side and are supporting you though every contraction. They are encouraging you, massaging you and sneaking you honey straws. Your partner is a dream until they don’t know what to do anymore. Here’s where the doula cones in.
The doula is the gap filler, the runner, the second support to the partner and laboring mom. It can get tribal during labors, it hurts! Mom can get interrupted, loose her flow and start getting anxious or scared, feeling out of control. The doula is there to help know what to say, what positions to try next. To remind everyone that this is normal, that we can continue to say yes to the process, and that this is the feeling of your baby getting closer to meeting you! She will also do little things like making sure your cup is full, you are emptying your bladder and that your partner doesn’t need anything.
Laboring mom, partner and doula are the three constants in the room. While nurses and doctors come in and out, the partner and doula are charged with maintaining a calm and supportive atmosphere, your doula especially is a sponge of things that could effect the couple. Simple questions, comments, opened curtains are no match for her!
Really, with a role for everyone, it works together really nicely. You can even add a photographer in there or best friend who’s only job is to hold your hand and it would be great.
Hello! I’ve been asked recently what you can expect from a home birth midwife and I think that’s something that I can talk about… at least as it pertains to expectations of me and the midwives that I directly work with here in Cincinnati.
It all starts with prenatal care! You can expect a normal scheduling of visits, each prenatal will last about an hour and they will be monthly until your 28 weeks, bi-weekly until you’re 36 weeks and then weekly until you have your baby. Prepare to go deeper in these prenatals then you would with your local obstetrician. This is an opportunity to delve into not only about what is physically and clinically happening with your body but also what is emotionally and psychologically happening in your pregnancies process. Personally this is one of my very favorite parts of midwifery care!
When your midwife arrives she will begin by washing her hands, quietly saying hello and then having a good long listen to your baby using the handheld fetal doppler. She will then do frequent listens throughout your labor, at least once an hour, remind you to eat, drink, empty your bladder and try to encourage your individual process as much as possible.
Once it’s time for you to begin pushing she will remain watchful and calmly and quietly await the arrival of your baby. Once she can see your babies head, she will encourage you to reach down and feel your baby, so you can be even more connected to the process.
As long as everything is progressing really smoothly, the midwife can coach anyone to which the mother agrees to catch her baby. The baby will immediately be brought to the mothers chest and should remain there if at all possible throughout the immediate postpartum period. We leave the cord intact for a minimum of 30 minutes.
The midwife will be closely monitoring from the background. She will deliver the placenta and then again assist the mom to eat, drink and empty her bladder. She will tuck mom into bed and allow her to enjoy these first impressions of her new baby.
After the birth team has cleaned up the birth space, it will be time for the newborn exam, clamping and cutting the cord, examining the placenta with the family and processing the labor and birth.
Finally the midwife will go over postpartum instructions, when to call and set up a time in the next 48 hours that she will return with instructions to contact her if anything were to arise before then.
Homebirth is really a peaceful and intimate, life changing experience.
Okay I never do this but… In honor of Mothers Day and YOU, im offering a %10 discount on any of my services if you book by May 14th! Use the code #Dreameasy. Act fast! This deal will end soon.
The liklyhood of a new mom experiencing postpartum mood disorders in the USA is becoming all to common! To combat this epidemic we need a mental shift, we have to shift to prioritizing care of the new mom. This infograpic is exactly what I mean! Enjoy!
The feeling you get when you book two clients in one day! Doula and encapsulation…
This is a snapshot of the encapsulation part of my Placenta encapsulation service! This is one of my very favorite ways to spend the morning. I’m so glad that new moms can directly benefit in their sensitive postpartum period from my work.
The most helpful fetal position diagram I’ve ever seen!
As a doula and midwifery apprentice I see a lot of dads and other partners at a birth who are standing around awkwardly, just lost, and not knowing what to do. And thats okay, I know how hard it is! I started out that way too, but now I’m deep in this process of supporting women during birth here in the Greater Cincinnati area and have learned some things. I want to prepare you, as partners to a pregnant woman, to be your very best self, one who is prepared, willing to work hard and will meet the mom right where she is.
So there are a couple things I want to talk about…
First: If you get nothing else from this post, I want you to remember that during a birth, you should be calm, grounded, peaceful and know without a shadow of a doubt that she can birth her baby. Everything else after your grounded energy comes second.
For those of you who are list people, here are the top things i think you should have under your belt.
Before the birth, its incredibly valuable if you, as the partner…
- have met the care provider and established a relationship of trust and respect
- are friendly, grounded and aware of others in the birth space
- know the mothers birth plan and a little about each aspect
- share the mothers expectations of you during the birth experience
- have practiced different positions and ways to touch her during her labor
- are familiar with the stages of labor
- have 2-3 encouraging phrases that you know she will like to hear during her labor
- know that its inappropriate to be on your phone in her line of vision during the labor
- are able to establish boundaries around the mom if she needs a it
- be open to having an experience too
Luckily for you… I have midwifery classes, which means I have to make client handouts, and then want to share them with all of you! So here is mine on supporting moms as partners during her labor and birth : ) PS: its a trifold in case you want to print it out. Partners at Birth.pdf
Last week i was on call for a doula friend and i was called to the birth! I couldnt believe it! My friend was unavailable for a 18 hour window, and it was the babies due date, so i mean, come on, the odds were SO low. Lesson learned… I am the luckiest!!!! : )
Its been awhile since I have been to a birth as a doula, with all my apprentice/ student midwife work, and man have i gotten good! I kept surprising myself with knowing how to be, what to say to her and her husband, how to touch her and what suggestions to make next. I was with Julie and her husband for 17 hours at the hospital and never once did i get stressed or anxious, I have been struggling with those in my life and it was so good to let go. I have been reaffirmed that birth work is in my blood! Its in my heart and i LOVE it!
So Im moving forward, Im going to pursue more doula work! And ill keep being a student and do placenta encapsulation because i believe in this work, and i believe in women and i believe in the power of birth!
Please let me know if there is someone who could use a doula and i would love to talk to them!
PS: Tolabor is the organization i was trained through, and i would recommend them to anyone. They also have this free podcast, link provided here…. http://www.tolabor.com/toraise-podcast/. Its called To Raise Questions and they have so many great topics, and one of the ladies who is talking Terese, is the women who trained me. Man! She is great. I listen to this podcast sometimes to connect me with the broader picture and because these ladies and so sweet and they talk about their experience as doulas and its all about honoring women.
I watch new mothers and babies learn to breastfeed a lot these days. Its a whole trial and error learning curve, for both. Some get the perfect latch the first time they try, just after birth and some take weeks to work out, with tongue tie revisions or torn up nipples. I feel so lucky to work with clients who are so devoted to breastfeeding that, despite challenges, they dont give up, even if it means donor milk… they keep pursuing a breastfeeding relationship with their child.
Im sharing this video, that a friend shared with me awhile back about laid back breastfeeding. Its just another position to try while your learning, or if you have an oversupply, with gasping baby to show for it ; ) I hope you find it to be another helpful resource. Laid Back Breastfeeding
For those of you who are learning to breastfeed, I applaud you. For those of you who will be learning soon, you wont regret it! And for those who have, I bet you miss it!
My life recently consists of two types of days, both pull at my heart and keep me excited to do the other. My life as a mother and life as a birth worker.
As a mother my life is paced by a sweet baby girl, Everly Ruth. At 9 months old her life is set by naps, and putting everything possible in her mouth. She enjoys playing games with her older brother like, who can crawl the fastest. It is so sweet when he lets her win too! Oliver, my brave and rambunctious 4 year old, keeps me learning and growing. Most recently we have been focused on ‘Birds of Prey’, ‘Big Cats’ and learning all the letters of the alphabet. It’s too exciting to contain!
Being a birth worker consists of going to prenatals, births, and postpartum visits, Meet the Doulas, writing blog posts, and studying in any gaps of time. I’m reading textbooks such as Varneys, Holistic Midwifery, Clinical Practice Guidelines, and Heart and Hands.When I’m not reading books I listen to all the talks I can get my hands on. I often find myself going down rabbit holes learning about nipple pain, fetal heart tones, and practice guidelines. I laugh it off when i get it wrong and keep trying to get it right.
At the end of my days I am both exhausted and anxiously excited. I have pushed myself and remain open to where my path will lead me. I have arrived and I keep telling myself, “what i put in, is what i will get out”.
Reading Heat and Hands by Elizabeth Davis last night, I was reminded of how hard it was to continually accept my pregnant body as beautiful, as I gained more and more throughout my pregnancy. I went up 50-60 pounds (I no longer wanted my midwife to weigh me at the very end after I hit 50 lbs!)
Davis explains all the causes of weight gain in pregnancy and they are comforting!
Causes of Weight Gain in Pregnancy:
-Water retention due to hormones
-Increased fatty insulation over the belly and backside
-Increased weight in breasts (One reason i want to get pregnant : )
-Increased blood volume
-Weight gain of enlarged uterus: including the amniotic fluid, placenta and baby
Women lose an average of 15 pounds within the first few days of birth and the remaining weight used for sustenance during the first few months postpartum. Making breastmilk, getting up several times in the night to nurse, and dealing with the stress of caring for a newborn defiantly burn up the fat reserves.
End Heart and Hands.
Now i will tell you that all this is comforting but my pregnancy weight didnt leave until my son was 2!
**I bet you thought your face was blowing up just to keep your admirers away!
Following is a great link to a Midwifery Today article about the Placenta and different uses for it. I found it spot on!
I have attended a few homebirths lately, And i am continuously awed by the peacefulness, respect and trust that is flowing through the space. I just cant stop talking about it… even around those who i know may think its dangerous, etc.
I found this table recently and am thinking about making a wallet sized copy to flash at people as they scoff at my path of Student Midwife. Hahaha. Really, i know that the best defense will be to become educated, so i study away, every day.
Check it out:
If you are a birth story enthusiast, like me, your will find this one thrilling and empowering. She has a home birth, but not just any, because her home is off the grid, on a mountain top. Its about a woman finding her power. And about all women finding their power. Enjoy!
Meet our local Cincinnati Doulas at one time and place. Its educational and fun!
Another reason to love Ted Talks! This is beautiful animation of the transformation from conception to birth.
I’m looking through my files to choose a reading for a mother blessing this weekend, I felt like sharing some of them here for people who might be googling around looking for something to share at a blessingway:
From the book Joyful Birth: A Spiritual Path to Motherhood by Susan Piver
The path of motherhood has a beginning, but no end. It’s constantly changing and constantly challenging. Along the way, we encounter our personal limits over and over. We fall in love over and over. We ride the sharp edge of hope and fear. On this path of discovery, as on any spiritual path, our pretensions are shattered, our minds are blown, and our hearts are opened. We cry, we laugh, we bumble around and make countless mistakes. Through it all, we are gently—or abruptly—poked into greater honesty, lovingkindness, and understanding. It is a truly joyful path.
The memory of [my child’s] birth has become a talisman that I hold in my heart as I journey deeper and deeper into motherhood. For these moments come again in every mother’s life—the times when we are asked to walk straight into our pain and fear, and in doing so, open up to a love that is greater than anything we ever could have imagined: all life’s beauty and wonder, as well as all the ways that things can break and go wrong…Again and again, motherhood demands that we break through our limitations, that we split our hearts open to make room for something that may be more than we thought we could bear. In that sense, the labor with which we give birth is simply a rehearsal for something we mothers must do over and over: turn ourselves inside out, and then let go.
This is the reading we often use for symbolically summoning the four directions. It is from the book Mother Rising: The Blessingway Journey into Motherhood:
Blessed be this gathering with the gifts of the East: communication of the heart, mind, and body; fresh beginnings with each rising of the sun; the knowledge of the growth found in sharing silences.
Blessed be this gathering with the gifts of the South: warmth of hearth and home; the heat of the heart’s passion; the light to illuminate the darkest of times.
Blessed be this gathering with the gifts of the West: the lake’s deep commitments; the river’s swift excitement; the sea’s breadth of knowing.
Read more at: http://talkbirth.me/2011/03/14/the-path-of-motherhood/
Doing placenta encapsulation has so many benefits! This article has tons of extra information and lists benefits, as well as her personal experiences. Awesome!