A birth is one of those rare experiences in the client’s life where I am fully expecting her to be selfish. This birth is ALL about her.
I talk to every client about who she is thinking about having at her birth. Sometimes that discussion is really easy because she just wants her partner and one friend, who has seen multiple births, will do anything, and they are incredibly comfortable with. Other times it’s a situation where the mom has a whole list of people she’s thinking about. In that case we go through one by one and if she is at all unsure of someone then I ask her this simple question, “Does that person directly benefit YOU by being there?” A doula who you trust will support you well? Yes. A friend who is afraid of natural birth oh, that’s a no. Your mother-in-law whose super grounding to you, why yes! Someone who just wants to see a natural birth oh, sorry that’s a no, there’s plenty of YouTube videos for that. A sister who always knows what to say? Ummm, shes in. A friend or family member who doesn’t know when to be quiet? Sorry you’re out. You get the picture. Think critically and get comfortable with the idea of this being about Y-O-U. At the moment when your body is opening to allow your baby to come through, I promise you won’t regret it!